I’ve never really been a girl that gets guys. I never really knew how to flirt or chat to guys or anything like that. I’ve not necessarily struggled with it, but I was more of an awkward girl; I didn’t know how to be with guys or what to say. When I was younger, my friends at school were mostly the same – we weren’t really looked at by guys. So, I wasn’t one of the girls who was always going out with boys and going on dates.
I remember there was a bit of judgement around that at school, people calling girls frigid if they hadn’t done stuff with a boy by the time they were 16. I definitely was in that category of being called frigid. Because it just petrified me – the thought of kissing a boy or, you know, being with a boy like that. It was just something that I didn’t start to think about until I was a bit older. Now, I think that judgement around what you have or haven’t done is horrendous. That pressure to do things with boys or else be called frigid if you don’t? It’s so scary.
If you’re not ready, you’re just not ready. And it’s not cool to call anyone names around that.
When Instagram came into play, I started to get a bit more attention from boys, because in my school I probably had the most followers even if I wasn’t necessarily the most popular girl. It was kind of intriguing to some people, and guys seemed to start to like me a bit because of that – which is really superficial and stupid! – but I guess that was when I started to get more male attention. So, I was always the girl that never had a boyfriend, never really got guys, and then in the last year of school, I got a boyfriend and was with him for about two to three years.
Obviously, we’ve all been there: we’ve all had our first kiss and we’ve all had our first time. For me, my first boyfriend was my first time for everything. I was really lucky because that relationship sort of taught me everything I needed to know, and I never really had to go through that scary (for me, anyway!) phase where you go out and meet guys and get up to mischief; I wasn’t doing things with guys I didn’t know. I didn’t experiment with guys growing up. It was more that I met this boy, and I was with him, and that helped me understand guys. Over time, I definitely just grew out of that relationship, and we broke up when I was about 17. That relationship did teach me a lot, though, and I’m grateful for that. He had a really amazing family, too, who helped me through my parents’ divorce.
After that, I just went back to being single. I dated a bit but nothing that serious, until I got into my next relationship … on national TV!
When I first saw Tommy, I found him really, really attractive. I always say to him now, as cringey as it sounds, that if I were to sketch out my dream man, I’d draw him (that is, if I could draw!) because I feel like everyone has a type and he’s mine. I’ve always fancied guys who look the way he looks: tan, tall and muscly, with dark hair, nice teeth and beautiful eyes. He’s just everything I had dreamed about in terms of what my future husband might be like. But to be honest, at the time I thought, This guy is going to be an idiot, he’s just going to be a mess-around guy. And he just couldn’t be further from that. Actually, he wasn’t very good at chat-up chat; he wasn’t particularly smooth with it.
For a while, I didn’t know if there would be anything between us. I thought, He’s got the look and he’s funny, but is there something more serious there? It’s also hard to pinpoint how you’re feeling while you’re on the show, because it’s not a usual situation to be in. Am I feeling this way because of this environment? Or would I feel the same way outside, too?
Obviously, I know now that he was quite nervous and didn’t really know how to approach things and didn’t really know what to say. And when I realised that about Tommy, I started to see him for him: he wasn’t pretending, he wasn’t trying to chat me up; it was actually about having a natural, flowing conversation. And that’s when I began to really like him. So, it was an instant attraction, but it wasn’t an instant emotional connection; that grew more gradually as we got past that awkward stage of trying to chase each other. When we became friends and started to get to know each other properly, our feelings sort of blossomed between us.
Another thing that I found hard to come to terms with was that the guys I’d been with before him – and my stereotypical type in terms of personality, as I said on the show – were bad guys. Guys that don’t reply to you for days on end. Guys that give you the chase and you chase them, and it’s almost like a bit of a game. Guys that mess you around and cheat on you. Tommy wasn’t like that at all. He was very cards on the table: I really like you and want to be with you.
I felt, Oh gosh, I’m not used to this. I’m used to guys messing me around, to the point where I’ll want to be with them because they don’t want me. I think never having been treated so kindly before actually left me a bit confused by the fact that Tommy was so into me! But, of course, I came to love how direct and open he was, and appreciate that so much – because you don’t find that all guys are like that.
I always say they don’t make them like Tommy anymore, because he has a very old-fashioned way about him.
Being raised as a Traveller – he’s half-Traveller, from his dad’s side – his morals and values are more traditional. To him, when you meet a woman that you love, that’s your woman. You don’t ever look in another direction. You don’t ever do anything that would upset her or hurt her. It’s about loyalty, through and through. And that’s just something that you don’t come across in every guy.
If I had to describe what he’s really like, I’d just say he’s very normal, but hilarious. I don’t think anyone realises how funny he is. Sometimes he doesn’t realise how funny he is when he comes out with his one-liners! He’s just very humble and grounded and kind; he’s a very normal boy that has a very not-normal life, and nothing will ever change him. I just say he’s like the Big Friendly Giant – not at all how you’d expect.
Openness in our relationship is key. To the point where some may say we’re too open – I’ll even go to the toilet when he’s in the same bathroom, soaking in the tub! There are really no boundaries in our relationship. We’ve never hidden anything from each other, and that for me is something that is so important: never feeling I have to hide my true self around my guy or be a lady around him. That’s just not me.
And I love his generosity – not in terms of materialistic things, but in terms of the fact that, every single week, without fail, he buys me flowers. He’s just got that really old-school, romantic, gentlemanly side about him. And I think that’s what Tommy has learned from the Traveller culture – how to be a gentleman – because Travellers are raised with these incredible family- and husband-material values. Every week, I get home and there’ll be a card and flowers, and I know even when we’re 80 he’ll still do that because it’s just been instilled in him.
I always say you know you’re in a good relationship when you go to bed at night and you get excited to wake up the next day to spend time with that person. Me and Tommy, before we go to bed, we’re always having such a laugh that when we go to sleep, I think, Oh, we have to go to sleep? I want to carry on chatting, I want to carry on laughing! And that’s when you know you’re in a good relationship – because there are constantly things to talk about.
I’ve definitely realised over the last five years that me in a relationship and me single are two very different people. I always say to Fran, ‘I don’t think you’d like the Molly-Mae that was single because my priorities were just all over the place.’ I’d definitely prioritise the wrong thing. Because I wasn’t that good with guys – or I didn’t feel I was – I’d always be thinking about what I was saying, how I was coming across, what I looked like, how I acted. Was I being cool enough?
For me, it’s a case of, when you’re in a stable relationship that makes you feel fulfilled and happy, you don’t have to think about those things. You can put your brainpower into all the things that do matter to you – in my case, work and setting up a future for myself. You’re not sat there, thinking about whether or not a guy is online on WhatsApp! It’s so toxic and unnecessary.
It can sometimes feel like you’re either a girl that is or isn’t like that: either you just crack up guys and you’re great and you’re really cool with it all, or you’re like me and you’re an overthinker and you can prioritise all the wrong things. Which is why I’m so, so glad that I got that single phase out of my system when I was more of a teenager because now, I can be in my relationship and sort out all the things I actually want to focus on. Of course, it’s totally fine if you don’t want to be in a relationship – the thing is to know yourself and recognise what works for you.
Personally, I’m grateful that I’ve found my relationship now, that I’m in it in this part of my life, because it’s been such an important stage for me. To have Tommy by my side has meant having that consistency and that constant reassurance when I’m going on big jobs and doing new things where I don’t really have a clue what I’m doing. If I were single going through all that, I’d be juggling so many things and wouldn’t know who was genuine or who to talk to. That’s why having Tommy has been just so key for me and so incredible.
We both had this huge life change at exactly the same time, so we went through it together, and that was really helpful.
It’s definitely made our relationship stronger, too, that we can relate to each other’s lives so much. Even now, Tommy and I talk about things that happened when we first came out of Love Island – photo shoots that we were on, interviews that we did, red carpet events – and we’ll both cry laughing at the things that we went through when we had no clue what we were doing. For example, you’ll be going down a red carpet being asked questions about an event and how you’re feeling, and if you’re not used to it, it’s so much pressure. And it’s so nice to have someone that has no idea what they’re doing either, so that you can laugh about it together if you mess it up.
After we came out of the show, Tommy and I lived in my really small apartment in Manchester for a little while before we rented our own apartment just down the road from there, in a different part of the Northern Quarter. But he still loves that first apartment; he’s always talking about how he’d love to go back to it and see what it’s like now, because that was the background to some of our very first memories together. Honest to God, the whole apartment was tiny – he barely fitted in it! – but it was just cute. Plus, that was when we really got to know each other in the outside world, and it was a really nice time to be there.
And, instead of going back to a boyfriend who has no idea how that feels and having to explain, ‘This is how I felt tonight …’, I could just say to Tommy, ‘Oh my God …!’ and not have to spell it all out. It has been so nice to be able to relate to someone in that way and experience things with them that are new to them, too. It’s comforting. So, we’re both very lucky that we’ve had each other going through it all. I’ve been able to lean on him, and he’s leaned on me. We have strengths in different areas, in that he finds some things easy to go through, and others I find easier. We’ve just balanced each other out so well.
I told Tommy I loved him in Love Island – but realistically, we’d only known each other for a few weeks. I felt like it was love then, but I only really started to know I loved him when I was out of Love Island and realised, Actually, this is true love. I don’t know if there was one single moment; it was more something that grew as time went on.
Coming out of the show, there were so many things that we had to deal with that we’d never had to worry about before. I remember thinking, Oh gosh, OK – it’s not like Love Island and we’re not in a dream world here. It’s a normal relationship now, with normal things to deal with, with normal struggles, with normal stresses. We’re not in a villa – this is real life.
For example, when we met, Tommy already had a blue tick – he was Instagram official – and he had about 40,000 followers on there already. His boxing career had just started and he was always on the scene with his brother Tyson, who of course is really well known as a heavyweight champion. Being a Fury, you’re kind of just known anyway! But he wasn’t as into Instagram as I was, and he didn’t always understand why I posted all the photos that I did.
Now, I would never change what I do for a guy – that was something my mum’s always drilled into me: that you do what you want to do! And Tommy wasn’t asking me to do that, anyway. So, I just explained that it’s about showing all the different aspects of my lifestyle. He’s used to it now and he’s really understanding.
That doesn’t mean you have to feel exactly the same away about everything. He’s still more private than me. He definitely will say to me, ‘Oh, just put phones away tonight’ or ‘Let’s just go out without phones.’ He really does value that time without phones, because for him social media is more something that he does as part of his boxing career, whereas for me, it’s my passion as well as a big part of my business. So, he doesn’t share a lot. He really does not care at all what people think about him, which is actually a really good thing for me because I can sometimes care too much. Together, we have a nice balance.
So, those early months were all about adapting very quickly and learning what our normal, outside-world relationship was going to be like, and I think we were just so lucky that it formed into what it did – and that it was even better. But we did learn how to be with each other in certain situations. He’s got very specific ways that he deals with things, and I’ve got very specific ways that I deal with things – and you only learn about those as a couple over time.
Early on in our relationship, I posted a video on my YouTube where we answered questions. Watching that video back now, I can see that was when we were really in our honeymoon phase – the way we were looking at each other, we were just googly-eyed for each other. I was always a bit fearful then, wondering, Will this honeymoon phase run its course one day? Now, we’re in our real relationship, where it’s still so amazing. Our relationship is so real – we’ve definitely had our get-to-know-each-other phase, we have a routine – and yet, I’ve realised that the honeymoon phase never really ended.
We even got through lockdown really well. I actually loved that time with him. We’re usually both so busy that I cherished getting to spend every single day together. It maybe gave us more time to spend on our relationship: learning more about each other and really getting to know each other even better – we had nothing else to do! It was just me and him and a TV. We really just sat most nights in front of a new horror film. (We’re lucky that we both love them, as that’s something that we really bond over.)
Still, I admit, I do get scared. Because my parents got divorced and I know it’s so common these days for relationships not to work, I’m always fearful. What if, for some reason, he wants to leave me one day, or stops loving me? Deep down, I know that’s about me and nothing to do with Tommy. Everyone has their own worries and insecurities, even in the best relationships. The important thing is not to let that spoil what you’ve got: to recognise when the anxiety is coming from you and that it’s not about who you’re with.
One thing I don’t worry about is other girls. I think how you feel about your boyfriend or your girlfriend getting a lot of attention from the opposite sex is all dependent on how they react to it. I’m so lucky that Tommy has not changed and has really stayed so grounded, especially with having girls flocking around him on PAs (personal appearances). The fact that he doesn’t do anything about it has made me realise it’s OK that girls fancy my boyfriend. It’s OK that everyone knows him – because I know that he’s just this normal boy who tells me that he only has eyes for me. In our relationship, the key thing for us is our loyalty to each other: it’s what we base everything on.
And, since he decided that I was the girl for him, he’s never even flicked his eyes in another direction. I always go back to this one time, when we were in a spa together, and this unbelievable girl walked in with this blonde hair, great bum and legs – she was just stunning. You’d fully expect your boyfriend or the guy you’re seeing to be having a little look. I wouldn’t have even cared, because even I was checking her out! But Tommy wasn’t bothered – his eyes were just on me.
I feel like he doesn’t have eyes for anyone other than me and that is just the most comforting feeling.
Again, I think that’s because of the way he’s been raised. When you meet a woman, when you’re a Traveller, that is your woman and you do not look in another direction. And it’s just the most comforting feeling, being with the person you love and knowing they’ll only ever have eyes for you, no matter what happens. I’ve been with guys who definitely didn’t make me feel like that, and it’s horrendous. It’s just not worth your time.
So, it doesn’t bother me that other girls fancy him. Also, I think all girls know that you kind of want a guy that keeps you on your toes a little bit (even if that’s just in that other girls want him!). I think, I’m that girl that gets to have you as my boyfriend – and that makes me feel so lucky. He doesn’t realise how amazing he is. And he doesn’t even think he’s good-looking!
I think my parents’ divorce taught me the importance of finding the right person, because it does break my heart a little bit when I think of my mum spending 25 years of her life with the wrong man for her. We only have one life – every day is so precious, let alone 25 years. That’s like a massive chunk of her life that now she looks back on, and it was with the wrong man.
That terrifies me, the idea of spending even one year with the wrong man. That’s a year of your life that you’re never going to get back. That’s why, with Tommy, I had to be so sure of him before we made it serious. But I quickly realised that he was just different to anybody I’d ever met. Now I’ve been with him a massive part of my adult life, and it just feels so right. You just know when you’ve met someone that it just feels right with. So, I think this relationship has really reinforced for me that if it’s not the right person, don’t waste your time.
And I don’t think a relationship should feel like work. I think if you have to put work into it, that’s not a relationship; that’s a chore! For me anyway. I think you should only be in a relationship if it adds to your life effortlessly – and it’s completely effortless with Tommy. We share a bed every single night, we wake up together, we live in the same house; he gets up and cracks on with his day, I get up and I crack on with mine. And then we have a day off! We bicker, of course – that’s normal – but he adds to my life. And I always say to my friends, if they’re ever with a guy that doesn’t add anything to their life, then they have to get rid – because why waste time when you could be finding the right guy that just makes you feel amazing every day?
Having said that, it’s important that people know we’re a very normal couple and do have arguments. I think people sometimes assume that relationships they see on social media are just absolutely perfect all the time. Tommy really is what girls would call a ‘goals’ boyfriend! But every single relationship has conflict, and we can bicker like cats and dogs. I often talk about the reality on my YouTube: if I’m filming a vlog, I’ll say, ‘Oh my God, Tommy and I have just spoken about something, he’s really annoying me today.’ I’m very real about it. There are things that he does that irritate me and there are things that I do that irritate him.
But one thing about our arguments is they’re literally always over in five minutes: we can’t be angry or upset with each other for more than that. Afterwards, I think it’s kind of nice when you’ve had an argument with your boyfriend, and then you make up and have a hug – you almost love them even more because for that one minute, you hated each other! (Of course – and it should go without saying, but it’s important – I’m talking about normal, healthy conflict that you can sort out. If you’re in a relationship that’s more arguments than not, or if it’s making you unhappy, then honestly, don’t put up with that.)
Tommy and I are very similar in many ways. We have a lot of the same interests (we’re both obsessed with horror films, for instance, and we both love Halloween – October is our favourite month of the year), plus we’re the same age. With him and I, everything just fits. I always say that we’re like two peas in a pod, because we do almost everything together – especially because of how small my circle is as well.
It does feel like we’re an old married couple now. I always say to him, ‘I know you better than you know yourself.’ I feel like I know how his brain works, to the point where if he’s ever in a bad mood, the only person that can talk him out of it is me just because I know him so well, and he can do the same with me. And I will often say something before he’s even said it, because I know he’s about to say it.
But we do appreciate each other’s differences, and we both have our freedom, too; when he has to go off for the day or for a week, or if I do, we just get on with it. It’s never a case of complaining, ‘Oh, why’d you have to go away?’ We just accept it. Then, when we get back together, it’s great: we appreciate each other more. I think when you spend time apart you can actually learn just how much you love that person and how much you love spending time with them.
Since we’ve been together, Tommy’s become much more mature. I think he’s definitely turned from a boy into a man – he’s just become an even better version of himself.
If I hadn’t found Tommy, I think I’d be single for sure. With my career what it is now, I don’t think I’d have time to meet someone. I’m just so lucky that now, living with him, I don’t have to make a conscious effort to spend time with my partner – if we’re not with each other all day, it’s fine; we’ll see each other at the end of it! It happens naturally.
But more importantly, I don’t think anyone else would understand my job, whereas he gets it. We have very different paths: he wants to be a world champion one day, and I want to have an incredible business and do amazing things in the fashion industry. They’re so different, but we build each other up. He takes my Instagram pictures for me a lot when I need him to, and I always come to training with him to watch him. We just really back each other.
We share goals for the future, too: we both want kids relatively soon and that is really because when you’re with someone and it feels so right, the next stage you see is having kids with them. The thought of him being the father to my kids one day makes me so beyond excited – it’s just the most amazing thought in the world for me. So, I think we have so much to look forward to and we can’t wait to get engaged and get married; we talk about it literally every day. He’s such a family man. We both do have a lot of fun, and obviously, we both go away a lot separately, but we’re settled in our relationship and just really lucky to have found each other.
Still, there’s no rush! For the time being, we’re happy with the children we do have … all 17 of them! We call them our children, but really, they’re our collection of cuddly toys: stuffed giraffes, turtles and more. Ellie Belly is my elephant, who’s literally been with me since I was a baby and who I took into the villa, and all the others have names, too … but there are 17, so I’m not gonna list them all!
And we do believe that they come alive when we’re not there. OK, we’ll act like they do, anyway. So, when we go out, we’ll leave the TV on for them and a bag of crisps next to them. When we’ve been to places like the Maldives and Dubai, we’ve even taken a duffel bag specifically for the 17 children, because we cannot leave them behind. One time, we nearly missed our flight to Dubai because one went missing. We would not leave until we had all of them together, because the thought of leaving one of them in the living room by himself made us want to cry.
Which goes to show, when you find the right person, you’re not worrying about whether they think you’re cool or not – you’re too busy having fun with them.
Stop looking for it.
I always say that the reason I did find love when I went on TV was because I knew I wasn’t going to feel deflated if I didn’t find love. It was more a situation where I felt like I had nothing to lose. Tommy and I were the only people that year who ended up in a relationship, which is ironic – and everyone who went on there looking for something didn’t find anything.
But I feel maybe it happened for me because I wasn’t intentionally looking for it. Like I said, there were other reasons I wanted to go on the show. I saw it as a fun opportunity. Tommy was the same: he had a break between fights so, when he was approached by ITV, he thought, Summer in the sun? Can’t go wrong! And I think because of that, because I went in looking for nothing, I found him.
The minute you just take the pressure off and stop looking for someone, that’s when it happens.
Tommy: ‘I knew that Molly was the one for me – and I’m not just saying it – when I met her in the hot tub on Love Island. When I first laid my eyes on her, I thought, Yep, she’ll do for me just fine! And I soon knew that she’s everything that I would want in a girl. She’s absolutely stunning inside and out, and that’s very important. Molly is very hardworking, very intelligent, a massive people person – always putting other people before herself – and very loving, very thoughtful. When I’m having a bad day, she just knows how to pick me up and says all the right things. She’s always there to help and is just an all-around great person.
‘What people don’t realise about Molly, and one thing that I’d like to share, is that she is also absolutely hilarious. She’s not just this hardworking, intelligent influencer, she’s extremely funny – and that’s one of the main reasons that we have such a good relationship and are as strong as we are. So it’s definitely a good trait of hers!
‘But what I like most about our relationship is, no matter how busy we both are, whether we’re in different parts of the world, we can always come back together and have our time – there’s a time for work, and a time for us. And it’s amazing to see that, no matter how busy we both are, we still make that time for each other: we go for long walks on the weekend and, at the end of the day, when we get in bed, it’s just us. We still get our time, which is very important.
‘And if we do go away, it’s always absolutely amazing and we always have the best time – wherever we are – because we’re with each other. Every time we’re reminiscing in bed, going through the pictures and videos on our phones, it’s always to do with our holidays,. ‘Do you remember going here? Do you remember doing this, or that?’ They’re the most special times for us.
‘In the future, I’d love to see us get married and start a family together. I want about four to six children, but I think Molly only wants one – so I’ve got some working to do there! But that’s definitely what I’d like the future to hold for us: a nice marriage and to start a family, me and her. That’s what I’d want out of our relationship. So, God willing, everything keeps going like it’s going, 100% that’s definitely coming …’